Only a speed bump! by Lesley Bonner

I was officially diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in June of 2009, but started my journey the week of my 39th birthday in April. My journey started when I found an enlarged lymph node in my neck…and being the nurse and just me, I reasoned it to working 12 hour shifts overnight, going to school, being a mom, and I was probably starting to come down with something like a cold. Not in a million years did I ever think what I was coming down with was the dreaded C word…cancer.  I have cancer. Me.  I was now in a forced pause in my life. My life felt out of my control.

The first step in taking back control in my new life was to arm myself with a wig and more head gear than one person could possibly need for when my hair came out.  By treatment number two of twelve, my hair was beginning to really thin—what felt like by the brush full every time I touched it.  I thought it was going to be hard to take it all off. The hardest part of this process was actually walking into a barber shop!  I have been journaling my journey for me and my family via Facebook, and I was brave enough to share my buzz cut in pictures, but for now I haven’t summoned the guts to go live in public.  I have been called gorgeous, beautiful, and fierce. I never thought I’d hear myself called fierce!  Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be able to leave the house in all my glory?!

I attended the Look Good…Feel Better workshop mostly to learn how to deal with my wig and head wraps. I don’t normally wear that much makeup, but I learned so much—highlight being how to draw eyebrows if/when mine fall out. The best part of the workshop was getting to meet so many beautiful women, all dealing with many of the same issues as myself. I am not alone; I am not different.

Although I have my moments when I get sad and angry that I have to go through this, I have come to look at this as a speed bump, something to make me slow down and take stock of all that is wonderful in my life and the world. I have great kids, a supportive and loving husband that takes care of me, including injecting my neupogen, and great family and friends that are behind me in my fight all the way.

My mantra is simple: It is what it is and it is ONLY a speed bump.