The New Me, Three Times Over by Nichole Spindler
December 28, 2007: I need a change, something to represent a new me and a new year. I decided to lop off 11 inches of my ponytail and donate it to an organization that makes wigs for children who have lost their hair as a result of an illness. My hairdresser of 10 years does the honors and I love the new cut. At this point, I look good, and I feel good too. Fast forward four months to April 10, 2008: six days after visiting the doctor, I am diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma at the age of 26. I am scheduled to start chemo four days later. Not exactly the new meI was going for. I was determined not to allow my illness and the side effects of my treatment take control. I decided early on to be proactive and beat it to the punch. Id rather cut off my hair than wait around until it fell out. This was irony at work: if I had known my hair was going to be that short, I would have donated another six inches in December! From the beginning of this journey, though, I was never alone. My hairdresser came in on her day off to cut my hair and my mom and sister both went short and sassy with their hair too. It became a group effort. I began the process of recovery with a pugnacious attitude and I brought along a strong support group, my cheerleaders if you will, composed of my family, friends, and members of our tight-knit community.
It is frightening to look into a mirror and see a stranger staring back. That was the feeling I experienced as I witnessed the effects of chemo take a toll on my body. I began to resemble a blue-eyed Mrs. Potato head; it was a face I didn’t even recognize-one that didn’t belong to me. Luckily, about half way through my treatment, I was invited to the Look Good…Feel Better program. Sitting around the table were four of us: one woman was old enough to be my mother, and the other two old enough to be my grandmother. It was a motley crew indeed. But we had one important thing in common: we were all fighting and we could all use a pick-me-up. The few hours spent with these women was a blast! We laughed as one of them got a little expressive with the mascara because once she took off her glasses she couldn’t see. We gave one another input on colors and styles and we simply enjoyed the company. The experience was about more than just learning how to look good and getting the tools to accomplish this. Sharing time with women who could relate was as inspirational as the make-up, scarves, and hats. The look good part of the night helped build confidence, but it was the feel better part that helped promote healing.
