Can Cancer Be a Gift? by Margaret K. Jackman

When my husband Bill died unexpectedly last October, half-way through chemo to combat Hodgkins lymphoma, I said my awful education in cancer is over.  Bill left me in a financial mess.  I lost my car, and had to put our house on the market.  After 25 years in the same community in Pennsylvania where I taught piano, was involved in my church and local food bank, I was suddenly without my life’s parter and facing a scary future.

     I packed a few important things and sold, gave or threw away the rest of a life’s accumulation of material goods and moved into my daughter Gabrielle’s household in Pittsburgh.  When my house was sold I would move on to my daughter Monique’s house in South Dakota.

     Then last March, before settlement on my house, I discovered a lump in my right breast.  The radiologist said cancer.  With my mind still focused on other adjustments, I visited a surgeon.  I must choose between lumpectomy and mastectomy.  With anger I now paid attention to my plight.  What did I know about such choices?  I didn’t even want to deal with the issue of my diagnosis.  I polled my three children and we did research.  Mastectomy seemed best.

     Then three days of total terror set in.  Would I die, just like Bill?  I finally tired of living in fear, realizing I was choosing to feel this way.  I wanted to feel differently.  Too, I realized I was not providing a good example for my children.  If they should have a similar situation I wanted them to remember a  mother who faced (combatted) cancer with dignity, courage, determination and (yes, let’s find some) humor.

     Adjustment to one less breast was actually easy.  Recovering use of my right arm was another matter.  So I worked at the piano, overdoing it some days, but recovered total function.  And the music was so therapeutic.

     Chemo was my last hurdle.  By then I was strongly motivated to be the new poster child for positive treatment.  I could do the four cycles, piece of cake!

     After my first treatment in Pittsburgh I had Monique come get me.  The Black Hills of South Dakota would heal me.

     My cancer care center in Rapid City is the most caring facility.  My oncologist and the entire staff is wonderful!   I was even given a wig (I am sooooo hairless!).

     Throughout this entire experience I have received the most loving support from my two sisters, my three children, and a host of loving friends.  I am still in awe of their boundless love.

     This week I attended a “look good – feel better” session, and I left the session a new person.  And the others who attended!  We became beautiful women again, with a look of ‘reborn’ in our faces and renewed confidence in our step.  I tell everyone of the glow in their eyes. Thanks for a great coordinator, and all that great makeup.  I am better and stronger than I realized I could be.  And I am smiling.

Happy to Be Cancer Free by Kim Hamilton

I was diagnosed with breast cancer on February 17, 2005, a date that I will never forget. That was the day that my whole life changed.  My sister Pam Favors, my rock, my guardian angel, my everything, helped me through it all every step of the way. She talked me into going to a Look Good…Feel Better class.  I loved it!  I had a broken wrist at the time so I got to be the model for the class.  It was so much fun!  I heard stories of the other women that were there and how cancer was changing their lives.  We all cried a lot, we laughed a lot, and we shared a lot.  I went home with lots of free makeup and nice things that women appreciate having.  It was definitely a bright spot in my life and I am so glad that I went.  There was a program that gave me free wigs.  They are hot to wear, but they are fun.  They make you feel good about your appearance.  I have learned from the Look Good…Feel Better class that when I am feeling down, go fix myself up.  Put on some makeup, fix my hair.  I feel better when I do that.  I was having one of those days today, so I fixed my hair and put on my makeup, I feel pretty and I feel better.  Thank you for offering such a wonderful program.  I have definitely benefited from attending. There are a lot of programs out there that will help you regardless of insurance or income.  You have to ask around and do some research but they are there.  Go to a Look Good…Feel Better class and they can help you more than you could imagine.  They have information or can get information for you to help you through all aspects of cancer.  Don’t let cancer ruin your life.  It is just an obstacle to work your way through and you come out stronger on the other side!   I am almost four years cancer free and proud to be!  It was one of the hardest things I have ever endured and I pray that I never have to go through it again personally or with anyone I know.  I pray that everyone that is going through cancer right now has someone to lean on and that they turn to God and fight the fight.  It is worth it.  It is your life!

Making of the Cancer Warrior by Diane Konieczka

I was diagnosed with Stage III and Stage II Breast Cancer November 26, 2006.  My surgery was done the following month and chemo started January 2007.  One week after my 1st treatment, my hair was coming out in clumps.  When my husband came home from work, half my hair was gone and I was hysterical.  I didn’t think it would be like that!  My head hurt…so the next day, we bought clippers and he shaved my head.

I knew I wasn’t the only one going through this, so I reached out to my Cancer Institute and connected to the hospital where I was having treatment and they had me sign up for the Look Good….Feel Better program.  I was only one of two people that showed up.  The instructor was a cancer survivor herself.  I was no longer embarrassed.  I purchased a wig several weeks prior, but with my hot flashes, I couldn’t wear it.  I was able to take off my bandana and she just smiled at me and told me…don’t worry, it will come back!

They gave me a whole cosmetic bag with makeup and some skin care products.  I didn’t realize that my eyebrows had already started to fall off and the eyelashes were next.  I learned how to draw my eyebrows on and put on eyeliner to help even out my facial features.  Also, my color changed completely.

This gave me the courage to go back to work, part-time.  In my off chemo weeks (19 weeks), I felt good enough to go in for a few hours.  Everyone commented on my bandanas matching my outfits and how good my skin looked!  It was so positive for me to feel better about myself because I just wanted to stay locked in my house and curl up and die.  But I knew I had so much to live for!  My sister died of breast cancer ten years ago and my mom was diagnosed one year prior to me.  I wanted to set a good example for my nieces and nephews and I also postponed my wedding, April 2007, to February 2008, because I wanted to have some hair for my beautiful veil.  My husband was upset, but he understood.

Thank you for having this program.  I think I am a huge advocate to encourage people to stay active and be proud that they are fighting cancer. 

I never wore my wig again and I still don’t wear my breast prosthetics, since my emergency surgery in December 2006 to have my implants removed, due to infection.

I am proud to be a breast cancer survivor and raise money ($8,800 last year) each year for the cause and I will walk, talk and help anyone of my friends, co-workers, cancer patients etc. that need someone to talk to or just to listen.

Only a speed bump! by Lesley Bonner

I was officially diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in June of 2009, but started my journey the week of my 39th birthday in April. My journey started when I found an enlarged lymph node in my neck…and being the nurse and just me, I reasoned it to working 12 hour shifts overnight, going to school, being a mom, and I was probably starting to come down with something like a cold. Not in a million years did I ever think what I was coming down with was the dreaded C word…cancer.  I have cancer. Me.  I was now in a forced pause in my life. My life felt out of my control.

The first step in taking back control in my new life was to arm myself with a wig and more head gear than one person could possibly need for when my hair came out.  By treatment number two of twelve, my hair was beginning to really thin—what felt like by the brush full every time I touched it.  I thought it was going to be hard to take it all off. The hardest part of this process was actually walking into a barber shop!  I have been journaling my journey for me and my family via Facebook, and I was brave enough to share my buzz cut in pictures, but for now I haven’t summoned the guts to go live in public.  I have been called gorgeous, beautiful, and fierce. I never thought I’d hear myself called fierce!  Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be able to leave the house in all my glory?!

I attended the Look Good…Feel Better workshop mostly to learn how to deal with my wig and head wraps. I don’t normally wear that much makeup, but I learned so much—highlight being how to draw eyebrows if/when mine fall out. The best part of the workshop was getting to meet so many beautiful women, all dealing with many of the same issues as myself. I am not alone; I am not different.

Although I have my moments when I get sad and angry that I have to go through this, I have come to look at this as a speed bump, something to make me slow down and take stock of all that is wonderful in my life and the world. I have great kids, a supportive and loving husband that takes care of me, including injecting my neupogen, and great family and friends that are behind me in my fight all the way.

My mantra is simple: It is what it is and it is ONLY a speed bump.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow by Shay Shoemaker

Before I had breast cancer, I took my looks for granted. While I didn’t consider myself beautiful, it wouldn’t embarrass me to go to the grocery store without makeup. My hair was long and pretty and if it was acting up, I could always put it in a ponytail.  Then after I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was told I needed the kind of chemotherapy that caused hair loss. I know hair isn’t everything in life, but I was worried about getting stared at and looking sick.  I immediately ordered several cute hats, made an appointment to get fitted for a wig, and scheduled myself for the next Look Good…Feel Better class. Through a friend I knew of another young lady going through breast cancer, so I reached out to her and we met for the first time at our Look Good…Feel Better session.

Dana is now one of my best friends and we learned together how to use makeup and jewelry to camouflage our hair loss and still look beautiful at the Look Good…Feel Better session. It was so nice to be able to sit in a room with other people going through the same experience and learn tips from each other and from the Look Good…Feel Better volunteer.  The free makeup was wonderful too!

I received additional training and makeup from my sister Shelley, a Mary Kay lady.  When I went into work the next day, everyone told me I looked beautiful!  I felt pretty again!  One night a couple months later, I went out with two girlfriends and a man came over and offered to buy us all drinks.  When he was at the bar getting our drinks, I was teasing my girlfriends about him and which one of them he liked.  Well, it ended up being me!  What a shock!  He had no idea I was sick and just thought my hat was trendy.  What a boost to my ego!

While I am now healthy and a two-year cancer survivor, I still use some of the makeup tricks I learned from the Look Good…Feel Better program.  I highly encourage other cancer patients to take advantage of the program.  Not only was the program fun and free, but it helped me regain some of my self-esteem.  It helped me realize I was still beautiful, even without hair.  And to top it off, I made a friend for life.

Recently I was selected to be a Hero of Hope for 2010. I am honored and overjoyed for the opportunity to share my experiences with the American Cancer Society and the Look Good…Feel Better program.

Look Good…Feel Better by Mary Jo Vanden Boogard

In December of 2006 I had a routine colonoscopy after my 50th birthday and was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer. I had no symptoms. The week before Christmas I had surgery, and proceeded with six months of chemotherapy. The treatments were tough. I lost my hair after the first chemotherapy, and for the next six months was hospitalized every time I had chemo due to complications.

After enduring the six months of chemo things were going well and my doctor stopped the treatments. Four weeks later I returned for a CT scan expecting good results. They found a large tumor behind my uterus. I was in shock.  I had a complete hysterectomy.  I will have chemotherapy for the rest of my life because the cancer was so aggressive in my body.

It was very scary at times. I felt like I didn’t know the person in the mirror. I went to the Look Good…Feel Better program and found that I was not alone. I made new friends that were carrying the same burdens; just being among them gave me confidence.

The beautician showed me cute ways to wear scarves on my head, guided me on wigs, and how to care for my skin.  There was laughter and it turned out to be fun.  I always knew that when I took the time to take care of myself daily, I felt so much better about life.  Looking back at the past two and a half years I know this has helped me move forward, because when I feel better I leave my home and become more involved in life, not someone watching life go by.

In life there are very few things we have control over, cancer is one that we do not.  What I can control is how I deal with it.  I can control what I do each day to look good and feel netter.  I didn’t know I had the courage to deal with all of this; I now know who I am and that cancer cannot change that. It has made me a much stronger, confident person.

During this period of my life I have lost friends to cancer and made new friends at chemotherapy.  I found that being a good listener and caring for those at chemotherapy has given me a new purpose.  I was always a social person who loved being around people, but when you are with people dealing with cancer, you are among very special people in this world.  We identify with each other and have formed our own little community, meeting every week or two for treatments.  Cancer has driven me down a new path, a little bumpy at times, but it has the best people riding along with me.

I’m not giving up! by Deborah King 

When I first heard the words “you have cancer” I was momentarily stunned. The three words no one ever wants to hear. Stage 4 colon cancer that had metastasized to my liver. That was my diagnosis. Why had I ignored the signs that something was wrong? The constant stomach pains, pain in my back, blood in my stool. As I listened to the rest of what my doctor was saying. I began to think about my life, about my faith and those who I loved and loved me. That was February 07.

Although the news was devastating, I was not going to allow this disease to own me. I knew that if I wanted to live, to see my daughter graduate from college, to continue to help those who relied on me I had to fight. I needed a plan. I began to pray because I knew anything is possible if you have faith.

I had recently been laid off from my job and had no medical insurance but even that would not interfere with what I needed to do. I committed myself to getting the best possible treatments necessary—physically, emotionally and spiritually. I decided that fear would not control me; it would not, along with cancer change the person I was. I would use it as a motivating tool. My destiny was in my own hands.

I was invited to attend a Look Good…Feel Better session by my research nurse. I left excited feeling and looking like a new woman. The ladies who instructed us were charming, professional, sensitive and kind. I learned an art that for my entire life I had felt I didn’t need. Since that day, applying makeup has become as natural as my beautiful smile. It has added a new dimension to my life.

With a few simple strokes of a brush and the help of someone who understood how looking good was directly linked to feeling better, my confidence in my appearance has been renewed. I accept that I have cancer but the stifling fear of not knowing about tomorrow will not discourage me.

My oncologist calls me her miracle patient because over the past two years all treatments have failed, but that has not diminished my resolve. With the generous help of family, friends, the American Cancer Society combined with hope, prayers, a lot of positive re-enforcement, I am persevering in my battle with cancer. I have been blessed with an indomitable spirit that enables me to be positive and love the new me. I realize that life is now more than ever what you make it. My cancer journey has been a tumultuous one, and a battle that is still ongoing. One of the ways I am surviving is with determination and choosing not to be swallowed into the darkness that is cancer. I am winning the inner struggle with an unyielding firmness. I choose to live making my life a positive example for my family, friends and other cancer patients.

Bitter/Sweet Life Experience by Darla Humrich

The greatest bitter/sweet experience of my life happened over six years ago in 2002.   My left underarm was constantly hurting whenever I vacuumed or did strenuous activities.  After several weeks, I decided it was time to get it checked out.  My primary care physician examined me and arranged for me to have a mammogram the following day.  After numerous mammograms, ultrasounds, biopsies and other testing, I was diagnosed at 38 years old with Stage 2 Breast Cancer.

 From that point forward my life was a whirlwind of doctor’s appointments, surgeries, chemotherapy, and radiation. Cancer came as a complete shock to me, as there was no immediate family history of cancer and I didn’t meet any of the risk factors. However, I decided that I had to remain positive throughout this whole experience.

 The six months of chemotherapy was very difficult for me. Having cancer turned my life upside down. My life as a mother of three and a wife completely changed, and many times I found myself questioning, “why me?” I later realized that we all go through trials in our lives to become stronger and to learn and grow.

 At the recommendation of a friend, I attended a Look Good…Feel Better session at a hospital in Denver, Colorado. It seems when you are diagnosed with cancer, it is all you ever think about and all anyone ever wants to talk to you about. Every time I looked in the mirror and saw this bald headed lady with no eyelashes or eyebrows, I was reminded of this dreadful journey I was on.  Whenever I went out in public without a wig, I always received interesting looks and I just knew people were dying to know what was wrong with me. Cancer was always the constant topic of conversation. The Look Good…Feel Better program helped me get through this insecure time in my life and focus on living again.

 While attending the two hour Look Good…Feel Better session, I was able to put away my feelings about cancer and enjoy the laughter and companionship of others who were experiencing the same feelings as I.  I felt comfortable in knowing I was not alone in this journey.  Opening the box of cosmetics felt like Christmas to me. I started feeling like my old self again.

The Look Good…Feel Better class alleviated my daily thoughts about cancer for a two hour period and made me feel that someone genuinely cared about my welfare. Two years later, my younger sister was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and I was able to attend a Look Good…Feel Better session again, this time as a caregiver.  It was truly an unforgettable experience. There is no question in my mind that when you look good on the outside, you feel better on the inside.

 Currently I’m serving as a general volunteer and Look Good…Feel Better Coordinator for the Denver Metro Area, and loving every minute of it.

Tokyo Mom by Karen DiVito

I love an adventure!  In 2005, that adventure took my husband, my three young children and me to Japan for a work assignment.  Eight months in, I found a lump in my breast and the thrill turned to fright.  7,000 miles away from home, and in a country with a foreign language, my core was shaken.  My “troops” at home rallied.  While I flew back and forth for surgeries and brought everyone home for my chemo months, the Pittsburgh gang supported my every need.  A family friend, Sandy, who had a history of cancer in her family, signed me up for one of her Look Good….Feel Better classes.  It was my first opportunity, in my long journey, to meet other women who faced the same diagnosis.  Having peer support and maintaining some sort of my original “face,” were two critical pieces in my long road to recovery.  I have been cancer-free since 2006.  I now meet women who say they would never guess what I had been through……  Hopefully, that can be inspiration for them.  I am so blessed that I had the type of support that helped me heal on the inside and outside!  Thank you for Look Good…..Feel Better.

Roller Coaster Ride with Cancer by Laura Meadows

In 2006 I was diagnosed with colon cancer, stage 2. I had a colon resection and since mine was stage 2 I had to undergo chemo for six months. Here it is 2009, and again I got bad news: my colon cancer had advanced to my right lung, now stage 4. I am undergoing three months of chemo and then I will undergo surgery to remove the upper-right lobe. The nurse in the infusion room asked me if I would like to go to a workshop, Look Good…Feel Better. I was a little uneasy about this, but I said yes.  This was the best decision that I could have ever made.  I was welcomed with three beautiful and very friendly women. They explained how to apply makeup, the right way to take care of your skin, and neat ways to wear hats, scarves, and turbans.  I was the one that they tried wigs on and we had a really good time.  I felt right at ease because the other women there were experiencing the same situation as me.  I try to stay in a positive mood, but when you are so sick, sometimes that is hard to do.  I don’t know what God has in store for me, but I do know that the people at Look Good…Feel Better have helped me to know that I am not in this alone and that there are people out there that care. I will always remember this experience.  From the bottom of my heart THANK YOU.